By Shaykh Muzzammil Ahmad
6 September 2024

﷽

In this week’s Friday khutbah, I chose to address the topic of anger management from an Islamic perspective. The subject is crucial for our spiritual growth and daily interactions, yet it’s often overlooked in our fast-paced, stress-filled lives.

Anger is an emotion that Allah has placed in all our hearts. While there can be righteous anger towards injustice and evil,  I focused on the harmful type of anger – the one driven by ego and arrogance, leading to oppression and discord.

Controlling anger, as our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ beautifully explained, is the mark of true strength. He taught us that the person who is truly strong is not the one who can physically overpower others, but rather the one who can control their anger. As he ﷺ said:

The strong person is not the one who can overpower others; rather, the strong person is the one who controls himself when he gets angry.

The harms of anger are numerous, affecting both our physical and spiritual well-being. From a physical perspective, modern science has confirmed what our religion has long taught us. Frequent episodes of intense anger can increase the risk of heart attacks by up to five times, triple the risk of stroke, and even weaken our immune system. For those of us battling or at risk of diabetes, anger management becomes even more critical.

However, the spiritual harms of anger are even more severe. Anger blinds us, leading to arrogance and oppression. When angry, we resemble animals more than dignified human beings. We become convinced of our own righteousness, seeing faults in everyone but ourselves. This is a dangerous form of arrogance, about which our Prophet ﷺ warned:

Whoever has a mustard seed’s weight of arrogance in his heart will not enter Paradise

Anger can lead to the breakdown of relationships, closing doors to understanding and communication. It contradicts the very essence of our Prophet’s ﷺ character, who was sent as a mercy to all mankind.

On the flip side, controlling our anger brings immense rewards. Allah says:

Those who spend in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves the good-doers

[Qur’an 3:134]

Allah associates controlling one’s anger and forgiving others with ihsan (excellence in faith). Many of us question how we can achieve ihsan – the answer lies in managing our emotions and being forgiving towards others.

I’m reminded of a beautiful story about our Prophet ﷺ: a man came to him asking for advice, and the Prophet ﷺ simply said,
      لا تغضب
(“Do not become angry”). The man repeated his request several times, and each time, the Prophet ﷺ gave the same answer, emphasising the importance of anger management in our faith.

So, how can we manage our anger according to the Sunnah of our Prophet ﷺ? Here are some practical tips:

1. Learn and use appropriate adhkar (remembrances of Allah). The Prophet ﷺ taught us to say when feeling angry,
   أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
   (“I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan.”)
   
   He also taught a beautiful du‘a:
   اللهم اغفر ذنبي، وأذهب غيظ قلبي، وأجرني من الشيطان
   (“O Allah, forgive my sin, remove the anger from my heart, and protect me from Satan.”)
   
   
2. Stay silent when angry. Many of our pious predecessors (salaf) would say, “I have regretted speaking many times, but I have never regretted my silence.”
   
   
3. Change your physical state. If you’re standing, sit down. If you’re sitting, lie down. This simple act can help diffuse anger.
   
   
4. Perform wudu (ablution). Our Prophet ﷺ said, “Anger comes from Satan, Satan was created from fire, and fire is extinguished with water. So if one of you becomes angry, he should perform wudu.”
   
   
5. Channel your anger positively. When you see injustice or oppression, let your anger motivate you to take positive action – donate to a cause, speak out against injustice, or help those in need.

Remember, controlling anger is not just about maintaining social harmony; it’s a path to spiritual excellence and physical well-being. It’s about embodying the characteristics of the believers whom Allah describes in the Qur’an:

And when they are angry, they forgive.

[Qur’an 42:37]

This verse shows us that true believers not only control their anger but go a step further by responding with forgiveness. This is the pinnacle of emotional and spiritual maturity that we should all strive for.

I encourage each of you to reflect on your relationship with anger. Are there situations or people that consistently trigger your anger? How can you apply these teachings to manage your emotions better? Can you turn moments of potential anger into opportunities for patience and spiritual growth?

Let us make a collective effort to create homes, workplaces, and communities where anger is managed with wisdom and patience. Let us strive to be among those whom Allah describes as “when they are angry, they forgive.” By doing so, we not only improve our own lives but also contribute to a more harmonious and compassionate society.

May Allah grant us the strength to control our anger, the wisdom to channel it positively, and the patience to deal with life’s challenges with grace and dignity. May He make us among those who earn His love through controlling their anger and forgiving others. And may He protect us from the spiritual and physical harms of uncontrolled anger.

Ameen.

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