By Shaykh Abdul Qayum
28 November 2025

﷽ 

Brothers and sisters,

Today, I want to talk about something serious. It’s something that, sadly, affects too many homes, maybe even some of our own: domestic violence. It’s not the first time we’re hearing about it, and unfortunately, it won’t be the last. But we need to be clear, Islam does not tolerate abuse. Any kind. From anyone.

Whether it's a man hurting his wife, a woman harming her husband, children suffering, or elders being mistreated, none of it is acceptable in our religion. Our homes are supposed to be safe. Places of love, peace, and mercy. Not places of fear.

Allah says:

This verse reminds us that we are all created from the same soul. That closeness should bring love and responsibility, not violence. Allah is watching. He sees how we treat each other.

Another verse from the Qur’an reminds us of the purpose of marriage:

Look at the words: tranquillity, affection, mercy. That’s what marriages are meant to be built on. Not fear. Not yelling. Not hitting. If there's no peace in the home, where else will someone find it?

And Allah says again:

This kindness is not just when everything is going well. It’s in our words, our tone, our attitude. It means we don’t belittle, we don’t threaten, we don’t harm.

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ lived this message. He ﷺ never struck a woman or servant. He taught us that true strength is not in hitting or yelling. He ﷺ said:

The strong is not the one who overcomes others by force, but the one who controls himself when angry.

Anger is natural. But acting on it with violence? That’s not strength, it’s weakness. And Allah loves those who hold back their anger:

Domestic violence is a form of zulm – oppression. And Allah said:

“O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden among you, so do not oppress one another.”

[Hadith Qudsi – Sahih Muslim]

Oppression at home? It’s one of the worst kinds. Why? Because our homes are supposed to be our safe space. A place of rest, or as the Qur’an calls it:

The Arabic word used here is sakan, meaning peace and stillness. But when there’s shouting, violence, or emotional pain, it destroys that peace.

Let’s also be honest: domestic violence isn’t always physical. It can be emotional abuse. It can be controlling someone’s finances. It can be isolating them from family. It can be constant put-downs and insults. All of this is haram.

And we have a responsibility. If you know someone causing harm in their home, don’t look the other way. The Prophet ﷺ said:

Help your brother, whether he is the oppressor or the oppressed.

And when asked how to help someone who's the oppressor, he ﷺ said:

By stopping him from doing wrong.

This is real help. It’s not about covering things up or pretending everything is okay. It’s about caring enough to guide someone away from sin.

Gentleness and good character aren’t just extra points, they are the foundation of a believer. The Prophet ﷺ said:

The most beloved of you to me and the closest to me on the Day of Judgement will be the one with the best character.

He ﷺ also said:

Whenever gentleness is added to something, it beautifies it. But when it is removed, it leaves it defective.

And finally, he ﷺ said:

Shall I tell you who the fire is forbidden to touch? It is forbidden to touch a person who is close, polite, and tender in nature.

So let’s ask ourselves: are our homes reflecting the Sunnah? Are we building spaces of mercy or of fear? Do our children feel loved, or do they feel anxious? Do our spouses feel safe, or do they feel silenced?

Let’s be the people who spread peace, starting at home.

O Allah, soften our hearts, calm our tempers, and fill our homes with Your mercy. Make us people of gentleness and protect us from being among the oppressors. 

Ameen.

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