By Shaykh Abdul Qayum
18 October 2024

﷽

In this week’s Khutbah, I addressed a topic that touches all our lives: how we respond to death and loss. Each week, we pray many janazah, and often, we lose our own beloved family members. It’s crucial that we reflect on our reactions and seize the opportunity to increase our faith in that moment and our connection with Allah.

I’ve noticed that during large funeral gatherings, we sometimes lose sight of the original spirit of janazah. It becomes a mere ritual, without us truly internalising the lessons from each death occurring before us. This is particularly challenging when we lose someone very close to us. The shock and pain can sometimes lead us to react in ways that may not be pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta‘ala, when in fact, these moments could be tremendous opportunities to gain His pleasure and reward.

Allah reminds us in the Qur’an that we will be tested in various ways, including the loss of lives:

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient

[Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:155]

This verse is a clear indication that loss is an inevitable part of our worldly experience, but it’s our response to it that matters most.

The key here is patience (sabr). How can we maintain patience in such difficult situations? Allah provides guidance in the next verse:

Who, when disaster strikes them, say, ‘Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.’

[Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:156]

This statement, “Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji‘un”, carries a deep message. It reminds us that everyone – living and dead – belongs to Allah. He is our Creator, our Master, the Giver of life and death. When someone dies, it is Allah’s decree, which we must accept.

Reflecting on this statement can bring immense comfort. Moreover, it reminds us that we, too, will one day return to Him.

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us a beautiful du‘a for times of loss:

O Allah, compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss, and give me something better in exchange.

There is great reward in reciting this with sincerity. In a hadith, we learn that whoever says this du‘a, Allah will surely compensate them with reward and provide a better substitute.

The rewards for patience in times of loss are extraordinary. In another hadith, we learn that when Allah takes the soul of His beloved servant, He asks the angels about the servant’s reaction. If the servant praises Allah and says Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji‘un, Allah commands the angels to build a house for that servant in Paradise. Imagine, a house in Paradise for maintaining our composure and remembering Allah in our moment of grief!

It’s vital that we maintain proper adab (etiquette) during janazah prayers. Unfortunately, I’ve observed disrespectful behaviours at funerals. After the janazah prayer, people often engage in loud conversations and gossip, completely forgetting why they’re there. Some block the pathways, making it difficult for the deceased to be taken for burial. Others talk so loudly that those trying to pray or reflect cannot focus.

We should remember the hadith where Prophet Muhammad ﷺ referred to death, saying, “Remember often the destroyer of pleasures.” Every janazah is a reminder of our own mortality and an opportunity for self-reflection. Instead of idle chatter, we should use this time to make du‘a for the deceased and ponder our own inevitable return to Allah.

When faced with loss, Allah promises three rewards for those who respond with patience and acceptance:

Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.

[Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:157]

Blessings, mercy, and guidance – what magnificent gifts from our Lord!

Maintaining composure in times of grief can be challenging. There’s a touching story from the life of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ that illustrates this. Once, the Prophet ﷺ passed by a woman who was crying at a grave. He advised her to fear Allah and be patient. Not realising who was speaking to her, the woman, overcome with grief, replied harshly, telling him to leave her alone as he didn’t understand her calamity. Later, when she discovered it was the Prophet ﷺ who had spoken to her, she was deeply remorseful and came to apologise. The Prophet ﷺ then said, “Patience is at the first stroke of grief.”

This story teaches us two important lessons. Firstly, we should be gentle when advising those in the throes of grief. Secondly, the greatest reward for patience comes from our initial reaction to the news of loss. This is when exercising sabr is most difficult, but also most rewarded.

It’s important to note that while crying is natural and permitted, wailing and loud lamentation are discouraged in Islam. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said that the deceased could be punished because of the wailing of their family members if they had instructed their families to do so before death. This emphasises the importance of teaching our families the proper Islamic etiquette for mourning.

Let us strive to react to loss with sabr, accepting Allah’s decree while preparing ourselves for our own inevitable journey. As ‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) wisely said, “If you have patience in the time of affliction, Allah’s decree will happen, and you will be heavily rewarded. But if you lose patience, Allah’s decree will still happen, but you will lose the opportunity for reward.”

In conclusion, every death we witness or experience is a powerful reminder and an opportunity. It reminds us of our own mortality and the temporary nature of this world. It’s an opportunity to exercise patience, earn great rewards, and draw closer to Allah. When we lose someone, let’s remember to say Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji‘un, make du‘a for the deceased, and reflect on our own lives and eventual return to Allah.

May Allah grant us the wisdom to respond to loss with patience and acceptance. May He make every janazah we attend a means of increasing our iman and taqwa. And may He reward us abundantly for our sabr.

Ameen.

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