By Shaykh Jamal Abdinasir
17 July 2026

﷽ 

All praise belongs to Allah, who created us from a single soul and placed between us bonds of affection and mercy. We ask Him to preserve the softness of our hearts towards one another, because this is a blessing that can be lost.

Consider a marriage that has lasted fifty years. Children and grandchildren now gather around the same table, yet something enters the home and turns husband against wife in a way no one had seen before. Consider two brothers who prayed shoulder to shoulder in the same masjid for many years, but now cannot bear to look at one another. Consider a child who says, “I never want to speak to my father again.”

How does this happen?

The Prophet ﷺ told us that Shaytan works tirelessly to turn people away from the worship of Allah. When he fails to make believers abandon their faith, he pursues another aim: creating hostility and division between them.

Allah says in Surah al-Anfal:

Notice what Allah does here. Before any instruction, He says: fear Allah, and mend what is broken between you. As though the two cannot be separated. Where taqwa is present in the heart, discord is less likely to take root.

A conflict older than us

These differences between us are not new. Allah tells us that from the moment Adam left the Garden, this was already written into our story:

We were told this before we ever arrived. Disagreement, the friction of two people who see the world differently, is not a sign that something has gone wrong with the world. It is simply its nature. The question was never whether these tensions would come, but what we do when we face conflict and tension.

Allah gave us the answer in two words: taqwa, and islah, fearing Him and setting things right. A heart truly attached to Allah does not need to win every argument. It is content in pleasing Allah alone and seeking His approval. If you have been treated unjustly, Allah knows your innocence even when others do not. If you have wronged someone, Allah knows that too. Neither injustice nor innocence is hidden from Him.

Allah reminds us further:

Your siblings became your siblings through your parents. But the believer in the row beside you, whom you have never met, became your brother through nothing but the decree of Allah, its own kind of miracle, if we would only see it that way.

What we are really fighting over

When we examine the disputes that divide families and communities, many of them have their roots in the dunya: someone taking credit for another person’s idea, a private comment repeated to someone else, an opportunity given to one person but denied to another

Look closely at the disputes that divide us, and most share a quiet, unglamorous root: this world. An idea taken without permission. A word spoken that made its way back to someone. A door one person walked through and another watched close.

Surah al-Anfal itself opens with a disagreement over the spoils of war—something of worldly value that people wanted but could not agree how to distribute. It is a reminder of how easily worldly interests can create division.

This does not mean disagreement itself is forbidden. Sometimes a matter needs to be sat with, discussed, brought before someone wiser. But there is a difference between resolving a matter and carrying hatred while you do it. Allah made oppression forbidden upon Himself before He made it forbidden between us, and He does not wish to see that darkness inside us, even while we are in the right.

Ask yourself honestly: the last dispute I held onto, was it truly about something of consequence, or was it the dunya, dressed differently each time, finding a new way in?

Conflict also worsens when we claim to know what is inside another person’s heart. We say, “I know what they intended,” or, “I know how they really feel.” But we do not possess the keys to another person’s soul. We often struggle to understand our own intentions, so how can we speak with certainty about someone else’s?

The Prophet ﷺ taught us to judge what is apparent and leave what is hidden in the heart to Allah.

What Shaytan is really building

The Prophet ﷺ told us that Shaytan sends his forces across the earth and gives the greatest recognition to the one who succeeds in separating a husband from his wife.

This is the achievement he values most because marriage is among the greatest mercies Allah has placed in our lives. When a marriage is destroyed, the harm may affect children, relatives, and future generations.

The Prophet ﷺ also gave spouses practical guidance: when a person sees something in their spouse that displeases them, they should remember the other qualities that please them.

We often focus on one fault and overlook years of kindness, sacrifice, patience, and loyalty. Remembering the good in one another is a mercy we owe each other, especially when Shaytan is working to make us forget it

Where the heart finds its rest

At the opening of Surah al-Qalam, Allah describes the Prophet ﷺ as possessing the highest standard of character. This teaches us that worship must eventually appear in the way we treat people.

A person may spend a lifetime searching for comfort, security, and peace, yet never feel fully satisfied. This is because the heart ultimately longs for Jannah, although we sometimes search for that perfect rest in this world.

When faith shapes a person’s character, its effects appear at home: in how someone speaks to their spouse, responds to a sibling, or behaves towards a person they have reason to resent.

The believer lives between two states: gratitude when they are at ease and patience during times of difficulty.

Sometimes, despite sincere efforts, a relationship may not return to what it once was. This does not necessarily mean we have failed. Allah has written an appointed beginning and end for every relationship. What matters is that we stand before Him knowing that we remained within His limits, did not return harm with harm.

When we see conflict between others, we should not simply say that it is none of our concern. The Prophet ﷺ taught us that the believers are like one body: when one part suffers, the rest of the body responds.

We should step in gently and wisely, not to take sides, but to defend what is right and help restore peace. The person who stands for justice on behalf of others may find Allah supporting them when their own time of need arrives.

O Allah, soften what has hardened between us. Wherever Shaytan has planted the seeds of division, uproot them and replace them with mercy. Make us people who fear You before we speak, who forgive as we hope to be forgiven, and who protect the honour of our brothers and sisters. Help us to repair what has been broken and to meet You with hearts free from hatred and oppression.

Ameen.

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